Watching the Orioles right now is about as much fun as having a root canal. It’s painfully obvious that everybody is pressing at the plate, especially with runners on, as the offense continues to spit and sputter and the losses keep mounting.

It’s like we, as O’s fans, are in some sort of Groundhog Day, Orioles Edition. Every game feels exactly the same.

The team scrapes, claws, and fights to muster just a run or two to take a very slim lead.

That day’s starting pitcher, who had been pitching very well to that point, immediately coughs the lead back up, while still turning in a respectable effort overall, one that should put the team in a position to win.

The bullpen then gives up a couple runs, while the offense again fails to score at all or until it’s too little, too late.

Cry, rinse, repeat.

I haven’t felt this frustrated watching the Birds since the final few months of the 2013 season. While I certainly don’t expect many – if any – of these moves to be made, here are a few transactions I’d like to see the Orioles make in the coming days to try to continue to shake things up a bit.

DFA Everth Cabrera

If you watched last night’s game, it’s a near certainty that, like me, you’re ready to see the former San Diego Padre left in Houston when the O’s depart. The problem with that is it still gives him three more games as an Oriole, which is three too many. Cabrera pretty much single-handedly killed not one, but two Orioles rallies with his inability to get a bunt down or even put the bat on the ball, and made a defensive miscue that extended an inning for Houston and that the Orioles were lucky didn’t lead to more Astros runs (though in the end, it didn’t matter).

Cabrera, in 28 games and 102 plate appearances is slashing .202/.238/.223. He has just two extra base hits, both doubles, four walks, and 22 strikeouts. While those numbers are down from his career figures (.246/.315/.327), they’re pretty much in line with the guy he has been most of his career with the exception of his all-star 2013 campaign.

Unfortunately, Cabrera’s service time (5+ years) dictates that he cannot be optioned to AAA without his permission. He likely wouldn’t grant it, so the Birds will find themselves in another Alejandro De Aza situation where they may be forced to eat some salary. They DFA’d De Aza and his $5M salary, so it’s time to eat Cabrera’s $2.4. If you can work out a trade for him a la Ryan Webb, all the better, but don’t count on it.

(Update: Per Roch Kubatko, Cabrera would have to accept his assignment AND clear waivers to be sent to Norfolk.)

Dan’s dumpster heap takes another hit.

DL J.J. Hardy

I’ve read some quotes from Hardy in the media already this year to the effect that he’s frustrated with the fact that his body is getting older and the nagging injuries are mounting. That’s a little extra depressing to hear for me, because Hardy is just four days older than I am.

All I do is lift weights and do some jogging, and I can certainly relate to Hardy, as I also feel the aches and pains popping up like they never have before. I can’t imagine what it would be like to go through the grind of 162 games.

Also depressing? This:

Hoping that J.J. Hardy's current Orioles contract doesn't end up looking like Brian Roberts' last Orioles contract.

— Camden Chat (@CamdenChat) June 2, 2015

(So we have a few years of fans questioning Hardy’s manhood ahead of us? I certainly hope not.)

If Hardy’s oblique is acting up, just go ahead and put him on the disabled list now and get it fully healed as soon as possible, instead of dragging it out and hoping a few days on the shelf will do the trick. It’s not like Hardy is setting the world afire anyway.

So, who plays shortstop with Cabrera gone and Hardy sidelined? Well, that brings us to our next move…

Trade Brian Matusz for an Infielder

No, not Troy Tulowitzki. Not even Ben Zobrist. You’re not getting an all-star or even a starter for Matusz at this point, but it’s time for his tenure in Baltimore to come to an end. But there should be some team out there – likely an NL team – who looks at say, Jake Arrieta, and says “I wonder if we can do that with Brian Matusz.” Maybe Matusz can become a competent starter for an NL squad. Hell, maybe he could at least be a competent LOOGY over there, but it’s obvious he can’t even do that here.

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Matusz’s ERA is a bit misleading at 3.44, as he has also allowed four of eight inherited runners to score. To compare, in his strong 2013 campaign out of the pen, he allowed just five of 37 inherited runners to score (14%). Last year, it was 10/49 (20%), so his trend in the wrong direction is continuing.

Do you feel good when he comes into the game? Especially with runners on? Unless David Ortiz is the batter, I suspect that the answer is a resounding “no.”

The time to pull off this trade was in the spring, but obviously Duquette wasn’t happy with the returns teams were offering. It’s time to go crawling back to those teams, whoever they were, and ask for a utility infielder or AAAA second baseman/shortstop.

If you can’t get something better than Cabrera, call up Rey Navarro and stick Ryan Flaherty at shortstop while Hardy is on the DL. It won’t always be pretty, but – somehow – Flaherty is a huge step up over Everth.

Call Up Nolan Reimold/Chris Parmelee

Take your pick. Personally, I’d go with Reimold – the team could really use another right-handed bat – but Parmelee would be fine as well. Parmelee is hitting .315/.386/.440 for Norfolk, with four homers and 11 doubles, and has a career MLB line of .249/.317/.392.

Reimold, hitting the cover off the ball recently in Norfolk, has his numbers up to .292/.354/.398 with two homers and 11 doubles. As a major leaguer, he is a career .251/.324/.439.

No, neither of these guys are going to fix the offense immediately, nor are they likely to be any sort of long-term solution. But they could help, and the Birds right now need all the help they can get.