Now that the Ravens are officially eliminated from playoff contention, 105.7 Caller has some thoughts on the baseball team. Don’t take any of this seriously, kids.
If you aren’t blaming Chris Davis for not coming back to Baltimore, you aren’t paying attention. Baseball players these days make way more money than they should. They’re doing something that they have been dreaming about their whole life, so why should they be making more than me?
It’s absurd and I can understand why a lawyer who argues about ceiling chemicals for a living wouldn’t want to give him more than $20 million. Ol’ Peter’s job is way more boring, and he needs the money to cope with how bored he is when he’s talking to people about toxic caulk.
Athletes in general are just better when they’re just playing for the love of the game and not the fat check, so owners shouldn’t dish out so much money for worse results from these greedy baseball players.
Even the greediest of them who have absolutely no love for the game play better when they’re in chase of a big contract than they are after signing it. My strategy would be to just string them along but never actually give them any money. It would serve them right for only caring about the number of 0’s in their paychecks instead of the city on their jerseys.
That is why the Mark Trumbo signing is so great. Last season, Chris Davis hit .262. Mark Trumbo his .263. The rest of the league missed on this one, people. Trumbo has a reputation as a power guy, and he has a better average than Davis. Those are the only two things that matter when it comes to your first baseman, and Trumbo is better at both of them. Obviously, Trumbo just loves the game more than Davis.
The Sneakily Greedy Matt Wieters
These players are so greedy that we skip over the fact that Matt Wieters is making $15 million this year now. Why would the Orioles pay a guy who doesn’t even have an elbow anymore so much money? They’d be better off spending it on Caleb Joseph, someone who is actually deserving of over $10 million per year.
He and Ryan Flaherty are probably the only ones who even deserve that type of money on this team. They will do anything that you ask of them, unlike Davis who refuses to put the ball anywhere but the right side of the infield. Maybe if he spent more time practicing bunting and not so much time with chew in one side of his mouth then he’d be able to beat the shift even one time.
More Like a Franchise Ortho Patient
Speaking of people who refuse to change anything, Adam Jones has to be the most overrated player in baseball history, and last year he had some trouble with injuries to make things worse. Last year, he was hurt way too much, and I can’t trust him to stay healthy anymore. I don’t care that he had played pretty much every game the four years before that. It’s about what he has done for us lately. He isn’t good enough to be our supposed “franchise player” and I’m beginning to wonder if his days in Baltimore are numbered.
They might be better off trotting David Lough out into centerfield every day. Of course, they got rid of him – I guess they don’t like guys who obviously work hard in the gym.
No, no, they just want more loafers who tweet pictures of food all day long.
Where to Find Passionate Players
The only logical thing I can think of is to find a bunch of players who play for fun. I haven’t liked the foreign takeover of what is supposed to be an American sport, but it seems like the only players who play for the love of the game anymore are foreigners. So we should try to get a whole bunch of them. They’ll play for cheap, and they just love the game of baseball.
Good job on that one, Orioles. Hyun-soo Kim? More like “Hon, signed him.”
