O’s Broadcaster Spotlight: “Drunk Gary Thorne”

Gary Thorne and Jim Palmer in the O's booth, Gary wearing a mother's day giveaway hat.

I was extremely excited and honored when Mr. Drunk Gary Thorne replied to my direct message.  I don’t think it would be presumptuous to assume that each one of us has dreamed that THE Mr. Drunk Gary Thorne would one day acknowledge their existence.  Well, my dreams came true and then some!  This is what he had to say:

What’s your name and where are you from? 

I’m Drunk Gary Thorne! The idea of me was conceived in Baltimore after Gary Thorne spent a whole inning discussing philosophy with Jim Palmer.

Tell us a little about yourself:

First things first, I love turtles! I am the best hockey announcer in baseball. Jim Palmer is both my best friend and my worst adversary. Karaoke night in the MASN booth is every night that I’m a part of the crew. The best way to describe me would be to combine the personalities of Gus Johnson, Gary Thorne, and Hawk Harrelson.

What would you say is the biggest difference between sober you and drunk you? 

Drunk Gary Thorne is basically an extreme version of “normal” Gary Throne (because let’s be honest, Gary’s never sober). Basically, if real life Gary Thorne had an IV of alcohol connected to his body, the result would be Drunk Gary Thorne.

Do you spray tan or is that au natural? 

All I’m going to say is this: My tan is as authentic as Jim Palmer’s grey-less hair.

What would you say is your golf handicap? 

Depends on how drunk I am- the drunker I get, the lower my handicap is.

What was your favorite moment of the 2013 season? 

Schoop’s first major league home run. NORFOLK STAND UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who’s got the better tan, you or Palmer? 

Me. I don’t care what that uppity Hall of Fame underwear model says, I have the better tan.

Who would win in a bare-knuckle duel, Palmer or Bordick? 

Usually Bordick would win because he puts people to sleep just by talking and then beats them up while they’re asleep, but I’m pretty sure Palmer is immune to Bordick’s voice at this point, so I think Palmer would win.

Who is your least favorite person in the Orioles organization? 

Whoever hired Mike Bordick. I also dislike Tommy Hunter because he stole my shoe back in 2012. Just to be clear, I DEFINITELY did not pay that bird in Seattle to poop on Tommy Hunter’s hat to get revenge on him.

What is your favorite ballpark outside of Camden Yards? 

Fenway Park. Very easy to smuggle liquor into! My least favorite is Toronto because I’m not allowed up there due to my hatred of Canadian bacon.

Which do you like more, announcing Oriole games or the PBA? 

Announcing Oriole games, as long as Edwin ARN-CAH-NAY-SHEE-OON isn’t playing.

How many wins do you predict the Orioles will have next season? 

Over 81.

Anything else you want to mention? 

Don’t believe a word that Jim Palmer says about me.

How can people find you on the internet? (Twitter, facebook, email, etc??) 

I do indeed have a twitter. You can read my twitterings at @DrunkGaryThrone. I don’t have a facebook yet. I might buy one soon. I don’t have an EN-STAR-GRAM account, nor do I have a PEN-TREST account.

This entry was posted in Blog View, Featured by Carne Cabeza. Bookmark the permalink.

About Carne Cabeza

Carne Cabeza
Carne Cabeza is the fat, shirtless, shameless, guy in the cape and tights you see at Ravens & Orioles games! He has been seen on many local and out of town radio shows and podcasts. Carne was featured on Fox 45's Cover Story and was seen on ESPN's Around the...more

One Cheer about “O’s Broadcaster Spotlight: “Drunk Gary Thorne”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Hot off the street

Thursday Thoughts: Winning Streak Shouldn’t Change “Selling” Mindset
Thursday Thoughts: Winning Streak Shouldn’t Change “Selling” Mindset

This is a weekly column that dives into some random thoughts about the Orioles/MLB. I used to do eight as a nod to Cal Ripken Jr. This year, I’ll be cutting it down to four or five, so consider it t...read more

Wednesday’s O’s Links: Rockies Interested in Gausman & Bundy
Wednesday’s O’s Links: Rockies Interested in Gausman & Bundy

The last two nights have been a nice little reminder that baseball can indeed be fun. Now the worry is, of course, that they'll also fool the owner into thinking this team has the potential to keep wi...read more

Series Preview: Orioles (42-49) vs. Rangers (45-46)
Series Preview: Orioles (42-49) vs. Rangers (45-46)

After getting swept and embarrassed by the Cubs in their own house over the weekend, the Orioles will be looking to shrug it off and quickly bounce back over their upcoming four-game set versus the Te...read more

The Rundown: What Can the O’s Get for their Relievers?
The Rundown: What Can the O’s Get for their Relievers?

After being swept over the weekend by the Chicago Cubs and another series in which their starting pitching was embarrassed, it appears the Orioles are one step closer to throwing in the towel for the ...read more

Week(end) in Review: Mid-July Massacre
Week(end) in Review: Mid-July Massacre

If there were still any of you out there who were as optimistic about our chances of turning it around in the second half as I was, you're probably pretty bummed on this dreary Monday morning. Bumm...read more

View More