O’s Broadcaster Spotlight: “Drunk Gary Thorne”

thornehat

I was extremely excited and honored when Mr. Drunk Gary Thorne replied to my direct message.  I don’t think it would be presumptuous to assume that each one of us has dreamed that THE Mr. Drunk Gary Thorne would one day acknowledge their existence.  Well, my dreams came true and then some!  This is what he had to say:

What’s your name and where are you from? 

I’m Drunk Gary Thorne! The idea of me was conceived in Baltimore after Gary Thorne spent a whole inning discussing philosophy with Jim Palmer.

Tell us a little about yourself:

First things first, I love turtles! I am the best hockey announcer in baseball. Jim Palmer is both my best friend and my worst adversary. Karaoke night in the MASN booth is every night that I’m a part of the crew. The best way to describe me would be to combine the personalities of Gus Johnson, Gary Thorne, and Hawk Harrelson.

What would you say is the biggest difference between sober you and drunk you? 

Drunk Gary Thorne is basically an extreme version of “normal” Gary Throne (because let’s be honest, Gary’s never sober). Basically, if real life Gary Thorne had an IV of alcohol connected to his body, the result would be Drunk Gary Thorne.

Do you spray tan or is that au natural? 

All I’m going to say is this: My tan is as authentic as Jim Palmer’s grey-less hair.

What would you say is your golf handicap? 

Depends on how drunk I am- the drunker I get, the lower my handicap is.

What was your favorite moment of the 2013 season? 

Schoop’s first major league home run. NORFOLK STAND UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who’s got the better tan, you or Palmer? 

Me. I don’t care what that uppity Hall of Fame underwear model says, I have the better tan.

Who would win in a bare-knuckle duel, Palmer or Bordick? 

Usually Bordick would win because he puts people to sleep just by talking and then beats them up while they’re asleep, but I’m pretty sure Palmer is immune to Bordick’s voice at this point, so I think Palmer would win.

Who is your least favorite person in the Orioles organization? 

Whoever hired Mike Bordick. I also dislike Tommy Hunter because he stole my shoe back in 2012. Just to be clear, I DEFINITELY did not pay that bird in Seattle to poop on Tommy Hunter’s hat to get revenge on him.

What is your favorite ballpark outside of Camden Yards? 

Fenway Park. Very easy to smuggle liquor into! My least favorite is Toronto because I’m not allowed up there due to my hatred of Canadian bacon.

Which do you like more, announcing Oriole games or the PBA? 

Announcing Oriole games, as long as Edwin ARN-CAH-NAY-SHEE-OON isn’t playing.

How many wins do you predict the Orioles will have next season? 

Over 81.

Anything else you want to mention? 

Don’t believe a word that Jim Palmer says about me.

How can people find you on the internet? (Twitter, facebook, email, etc??) 

I do indeed have a twitter. You can read my twitterings at @DrunkGaryThrone. I don’t have a facebook yet. I might buy one soon. I don’t have an EN-STAR-GRAM account, nor do I have a PEN-TREST account.

This entry was posted in Blog View, Featured by Carne Cabeza. Bookmark the permalink.

About Carne Cabeza

Carne Cabeza
Carne Cabeza is the fat, shirtless, shameless, guy in the cape and tights you see at Ravens & Orioles games! He has been seen on many local and out of town radio shows and podcasts. Carne was featured on Fox 45's Cover Story and was seen on ESPN's Around the...more

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

* Copy This Password *

* Type Or Paste Password Here *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Hot off the street

Tillman Battles Through 5 in Beantown, Improves to 2-1

Chris Tillman got his Friday night win, but he learned the hard way that nothing comes easy in the MLB. He once again showed that he's learned to pitch when he doesn't have his best stuff, or his best...read more

Greatest Seasons in O’s History: Right Field

The 2014 season will be a special one for the Baltimore Orioles, and not just because there are postseason dreams around Birdland. The O’s will celebrate 60 years in Baltimore, which presents the pe...read more

Camden Yards Ball Hawk: 4/13 vs. Blue Jays

In the world of ball hawking, day games usually mean bad things. For one, there usually is not batting practice. Since most day games come directly after night games, teams usually give their players ...read more

More Home Runs Will Come for Chris Davis

Chris Davis finally got the monkey off his back. Crush went deep in the bottom of the eighth on Sunday for his first home run of the 2014 season. It took Davis 50 plate appearances over 12 games t...read more

Machado Nearing Return?

It was just about a week ago that Gary Thorne said, during a MASN broadcast, that Manny Machado wasn't "doing much of anything that has to do with baseball" down in Florida, where the young phenom thi...read more

View More